Sports

A Tale of Two Wideouts: Braylon Edwards and Eric Decker

braylon-edwards-new-york-jetsTMZ recently released a video of former NFL WR Braylon Edwards getting in trouble with the law, yet again.  Although the video is of low quality, you can obviously see Edwards totally cheap shot the guy.  This is too easy a set-up for a bad football joke but I gotta play tee-ball here.

“Personal foul on the offense, number 17.  Penalty is unyielding internet ridicule, subjection to memes and possible violation of current probation for punching Lebron James’ friend in the face.”

This dude in 2007 had 1200+ receiving yards and 16 TD’s.  For those of you who don’t play fantasy football (what the hell is wrong with you if you don’t) that is the equivalent of bespoke John Lobbs, grade A5 wagyu beef, beluga caviar  (sorry for the food references but I’m on a diet).  wagyu beef grade 5Now he’s on Twitter having to explain why he grabbed a guy the size of Kevin Hart by the ankles……

Like most average people I’ve always wanted to be famous, but maybe it’s not as great as it seems.  If you watch the video of the guy who is filing suit against Braylon Edwards, he totally fits the profile of a money-grubber.  Not trying to profile the guy or anything but honestly, I cannot understand half of the things he says, can you?

I guess some people are born to live in the spotlight, others on TMZ.

“He catches the ball, I think that’s what a wide receiver does.”

Eric Decker gaining some yards after the catch

Segway to different article I found on TMZ about a currently employed NFL WR who seems it have it all going well for him: Eric Decker.  The Bronco’s receiver is currently enjoying great success with new co-worker Peyton Manning and is happily married to hot country singer Jessie James and they are currently expecting their first child.

The video is a very intellectual, deep discussion about who is hotter: Decker, Tom Brady or Rob Gronkowski.  To save you the suspense, Tom Terrific retained his title by a slim margin over Decker.  Look at the face the chick makes when she first says Deckers name. jessie-james It’s like you can tell she’s having some kind of kinky ass fantasy inside her head about covering the former Minnesota graduate in whipped cream, ala Varsity Blues.  But the highlight of the clip is when she says [referring to Eric Decker] ‘You’ve probably never heard of him, because I never have.”  Not to doubt Eric Decker’s #1 fan here, but she’ll lose credibility a few moments later when feigns supreme football knowledge by coming out with “he catches the ball, I think that’s what a wide receiver does.”

Today’s life lessons:

1. Never talk about a subject you don’t know much about in front of your peers

2. Don’t cheap shot a guy who speaks a dialect of English you’ve never heard before

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